Essays and Commentary
How to Not series, The Awl, Fall 2016:
- How to Not Drink at a Show. In 1987, I was 17 and killing time in the lobby of a club before a Love & Rockets show.
- How to Not Drink at a Wedding. Weddings are like the Oscars: a few big emotional moments against a backdrop of administrivia and waiting around.
- How to Not Drink at the Office Christmas Party. "Why is drinking at office parties such a thing in the first place?" I asked my husband.
- How to Not Drink on Thanksgiving. You matter. Your life matters more than this one day.
- How to Not Drink on Election Night. I don't know.
- How to Not Drink at the Airport. Easy. Once you zip through security, just walk past all the chain bars and don't stop till you reach the multiplex where a $20 ticket buys you all-day access to a bunch of first-run movies.
Enjoli, Medium, Summer 2016. (Republished by Vox, Quartz, Marie Claire). I'm newly sober and dog-paddling through the booze all around me.
Girl Skulks Into a Room, The Real Edition.com, Fall 2015. I am not a joiner. Worse--I'm a leaver.
Want Not, Fall 2015. I was walking from Babeland back to my car when I spotted the otter I thought might get me sober.
Letter From Ann Arbor: The One with Old Lovers and the Net of Souls, Ellavon, 1999. It has been seven years since I hung up on R. and never called back.
Letter From Ann Arbor: The One with the Eyelid Twitch, Ellavon, 1999. My Sunday afternoon conversations of late have gone something like this. Husband: "This window has a broken seal, but the basement seems dry." Me: "I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian who teaches at the U."
Letter From Ann Arbor: The One with the Serial Rapist, Ellavon, 1999. I love bad weather. Not earthquakes and mudslides, just garden-variety awfulness.
Letter From Ann Arbor: The One with the BB Gun, Ellavon, 1998. We have a bat, my husband said.
Normalcy, Virgin Fiction 2, Rob Weisbach Books, 1999. Anna takes a big sip of wine and peers across the table at her mother, who is glaring at Suzanne, who is making a great show of asking the waiter if there is anything to eat that has not been murdered.
Sound of Music Night, Ellavon: an E-Zine of Basic Culture, 1998. Italy was beginning to get on Lily's nerves.
What'll I Do, Snake Nation Review, Fall 1996. When we are twenty-two, we fill the kitchen with our mothers' bridal dishes.
List Maker, Mississippi Review Prize in Short Fiction, Fall 1995, ed. Amy Hempel. My father hated me. Some nights he would straighten himself up in his chair and say "Who do you think you are?"
Open Letters to People I Have Strong Feelings About
Dear Santa. I would like a jar of pickled Calabrian chiles. I was told they are a chef's secret weapon but I cannot find them in this place, weaponized though it is.
Dear Barry Manilow. I was onto you so fast.
March 2016: I talked with Caroline Leavitt about writing, my favorite and least favorite yoga poses, volunteering with Yoga Behind Bars, and lots more (including Tom Ford lipstick and writing inside car washes).
May 2016: The Since Right Now guys talked with me about writing, self-delusion, marriage, and other stuff. Includes a discussion of Marfa, Texas, where none of us has ever been.